We are all guilty of it.
Something extraordinary gets thrown onto our path and we find some twisted way to make sure it never gets close to us.
When you think about it, it sounds absolutely insane. Why would we ever stop ourselves from winning?
We figure out how we will break up before we even go on a first date. We assure ourselves that we are more likely to get fired than ask for a promotion. We cast the role in our heads with someone "better" rather than submit ourselves. We wait for things until we are ready and ready never seems to come. And on and on it goes... WHY?
I believe it is the warped way we convince ourselves that we are protecting our hearts from getting hurt.
The sad truth is that you are also distancing yourself from joy.
You will definitely get over a heartbreak, a lost role, or any job. But you may never get over not fully feeling and experiencing joy.
You are blocking all feelings from getting in and thinking that numbness is a perfectly acceptable choice.
Guess what? That's not why we are here. We are living breathing human beings who are complicated, messy, loving, weirdos. The only way we make this journey bearable is to let those emotions rip. To try things we are terrified of. Risk being the one who kisses first, auditioning for something, and (gasp!) possibly making a fool of yourself. Ask for that chance before you're sure you're ready.
Win or lose, every time you take a step, overcome a fear - you will feel something BIG. Once you live through that? Then the next step won't feel so horrifying.
If you are sitting in a rather uncomfortable lump, I challenge you to put yourself out there and try. Risk. Feel. BE.
Go out. Be brave.
I promise you it's worth it.
If you need help overcoming self-sabotage in your acting craft, or your acting career, Lauren Letherer can help. Get in touch for a free 15 minute consult to find out how she can help unblock you and set you free, so you can be the best you can be.